


Goodbye

by leet19



Series: Goodbye Kisses [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Break Up, Heavy Angst, M/M, Marriage, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leet19/pseuds/leet19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was perhaps the smile or maybe the look in his eyes. You watch him dance with his-now-husband and you can see as clearly as day that he is happy, he looks so freaking happy in his arms that you can't stop yourself to think that he used to be yours, he used to smile for you like that. And you die a little because you know that you would give anything to be that man that now has him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters: 1/1  
> Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae. Eunhyuk/Kyuhyun.  
> Genere: Romance, Angst.  
> Notes: I have so much feelings right now, I want to cry so badly and this story happened...

It was perhaps the smile or maybe the look in his eyes. 

You were used to see him sad and quiet all the time those last moments. You know it was your fault, you know that you ruined everything, you made him miserable and broke his heart. It was stupid, you loved him so much but you let him go, because you were so afraid of how much power he had in your life and you decided to walk away, leaving him behind with nothing more than tears and confusion. You know your friends never quite forgave you at all, they were the ones that were there for him when he almost overdosed, they took care of him and tried to get him to live again while you were on China, ignoring everything and suffering in silence, crying alone in your room every night. Heechul went to China to find you and punched you so hard that your right eye was brusied for weeks; he still doesn't talk to you. Leeteuk was dissapointed but quiet, never attacking but you could feel the weight of his sadness on you. Sungmin, his best friend, he yelled at you until he was hoarse, trying to understand why you had done what you did. It was silly, not even you knew that aswer. 

It was a dark time, nothing really mattered anymore, you didn't understand why you had done that, why you were such a damn coward but even if you were dying to go back, to be with him again (and you knew he would take back), you stopped yourself, you stayed in the same place and kept going with your life. Dead inside.

And now you're here.

When they told you he was getting married, you knew you had to go back, you needed to see him, to confirm that they were telling you the true. Because... How? How could he forget you when you were still dreaming of him every night? How was he able to move on when they told you that you broke him so bad? You don't want him to be sad but you're selfish, you're confused and you want to see him just to see if he really forgot you.

Eunhyuk looked beautiful. He entered the coffee shop and smiled at you, a bright, big smile that made your heart beat faster and you're body felt warmer. It's been five long years since the last time you saw that smile and it marvels you that it has the same effect as before.

_"Hello, Donghae"_ he said and, stupidly, you felt like crying because it had been  _too long_  and you missed his voice so much.

_"Hello, Eunhyuk"_  you answered and it stills marvels you that your voice didn't break at that moment.

_"It's great to see you again"_  Eunhyuk said and you wanted to say something similar but there was a lump in your throat and you're afraid of saying something embarasing so you just smiled awkwardly but he didn't look affected.

_"I was surprised that you called me here"_ you said instead and he smiled.

_"Yeah... they told me you were coming and... I guess I wanted to talk to you... I missed you"_ for a moment, your heart stopped beating and there wasn't enough air in the room, you look at him with your eyes wide open and you could tell that he knew what you were thinking  _"It's been a long time since that last time I saw you and... I thought it was absurd not to talk"_ he lowered his head, looking at his hands  _"It was hard for me to forgive you, you know? At first I couldn't understand why you left me, why you ran away. I kept thinking that I had done something wrong, that I had bored you and chased you away..."_

_"That's not true!"_ you exclaimed but he just chuckled, nodding.

_"I learnt that later. It took me a lot of thinking to finally realize that you were scare, Donghae. At the moment, I was not afraid of what I felt for you, I loved you and I wanted you forever, I was certain of that... but I forgot that not everyone reacts to same way. My only fear was losing you and when that happened, I wanted to end my life"_ he said quietly and you clenched your fists, feeling the weight of the guilt in your soul because even if you already knew that, it was hard to heard it from the person you love  _"I know you were afraid, Donghae, and it's okay now, I understand and I forgive you for it. I don't hate you"_  And suddenly you were able to breath again because that was what scared you the most, that he would hate you and you couldn't deal with his hate because you still love him. 

_"I'm sorry"_ you said and it felt  _good_  because you had kept those words in your chest for a long time, hating yourself for being such a coward and being unable to at least call him to say it.

_"I know"_ he said softly and you allowed yourself to get lost in his eyes, you were happy to notice that his eyes still shine like they used to, maybe even brighter now and the warm in them made you shiver  _"There's another thing that I want to tell you"_ and you gulped, because you knew what he was gonna tell you and you were afraid. 

_"Who is it?"_ you blurted and he looked at you a little startled before chuckling softly, his cheeks redening.

_"Kyuhyun"_ he aswered and you felt dizzy.

_"Kyuhyun"_ you gasped and he bit his lips, nervous. But you coudln't help it. Kyuhyun, he used to be Donghae's favorite in the group and he had been sure that he was in love with Sungmin at that time. But now... 

_"You're not mad, right?"_ he said and you could see that he was starting to get stressed. You felt bad inmeadiately, you weren't suppose to made him feel sad anymore, he wasn't yours and he moved on. You can't blame him. You can't hurt him. Not again.

_"Not at all... I'm... I'm happy for you"_ he looked at you increduosly and you suddenly wanted to smile  _"I mean it. I... I know what I did. I ran away. I was a coward and... please, don't"_ you said when you saw that he was about to interrumpt you  _"Don't try to defend what I did. I was coward and that's it... and... for a long time I wanted to say this to you. I ran away from my feelings but don't think, not even for a micro second that any of this was your fault, Eunhyuk, 'cause I got scared, not you and I took this decision, making you suffer for it. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry and... and I'm glad you have someone that makes you happy now"_ he looked at you with his eyes wide open and you couldn't help but smile, he looked so adorable that you wanted to hug him and never let him go. Eunhyuk dropped his eyes to his hands, lowering his head.

_"Thank you"_ he whispered and you heard his voice breaking but when he looked at you again, there was a warm shine that used to be only for you there and you felt blessed. His phone biped in that moment and then it was over, he took his phone and smiled softly,  _lovingly_ , and you know who was messaging him  _"I gotta go now"_ you smiled, though it was a little strained and he took out an envelope from his jacket. You grabbed it with your sweaty hands and you tried to breath slowly but it hurts because you know what it is and you can't  _not_  accept it.

_"You're getting marry"_ you said softly, as he didn't know and Eunhyuk smiled gently, nodding.

_"Is this saturday. I hope you can come. It was great to see you, Donghae"_ he smiled once again and then left. You stayed there for a long time, looking what you had in your hands and doubting, you were scared to see what was in there but you were so tired of being scared that you took a deep breath and opened it, taking the card in your hands.

_'You are cordially invited to the wedding of_

_Cho Kyuhyun and Lee Hyukjae._

_The day Octorber 25th at 7:00 pm'_

You weren't surprise to see that he had used his real name, he always told you that he wanted to get marry with that name, the real one, to show that it was happening. Well, then he was able to used it now. You left the coffee shop and went to your home, closing the door behind you a sliding down to the floor, hiding your face in your knees. The first tear in go out is inmediately follow by a lot of others and then your whailing, sobbing, your throat hurts but were unable of stop, it hurts to much. You cried all night, your eyes were swollen and red but you feel a little bit calmer now. Saturday arrives faster that what you thought and suddenly you were in the church, way in the back and you saw him entering the place.

He was breathtaking. He was wearing a white tux, his blond hair was styled to a side and he looked so excited and happy of being there that your heart clenched painfully in your chest. Kyuhyun was in the altar, waiting for him, beaming with happiness, his eyes were only for him and your mind betrays you because in that moment you start to remember.

_'Don't ever leave me, Donghae'_

_'You're my everything, Hae'_

_'I love you, Donghae'_

_'Let's be together forever'_

_'You're the love of my life'_

You felt the pain and you swallowed a sob, ignoring the itch in your eyes and you took a deep breath because you couldn't do that, you couldn't ruin his wedding with your tears so you put a brave face and watched how he said his vows, how he cried when Kyuhyun said his, how gorgeous he looked when Kyuhyun put the ring in his hand and how he melted when he kissed him. People clapped and hugged them, congratulating them, you saw your friends, totally happy for them and then your feets were moving, advancing toward him and Eunhyuk spots you. Is unfair how happy he looked to see you, it hurted you more because he still cared about you and you hate it, you want him to ignore you, to reject your presence so you can be better, you are prepared for that but not for his happiness. 

_"Thank you for coming"_  Kyuhyun said and he sounded sincere, his eyes honest and open, not a single shine of jealousy there. And you were struck by the sudden desire of tell him that  _'Yeah, it's him now, but he was there first. Eunhyuk was his first and he only has him because he left not because he's better'_ but he regretted it the next second, only smiling weakly.

_"I'm glad you're here"_ Eunhyuk said and he hugs you, not a polite-short hug, no, a long and intimate one, one that made you feel all warmer and light but at the same it made you want to cry harder and it was a miracle you didn't. He let go and you found yourself surrounded by your friends, the silence was awkward but then Ryeowook broke the tension when he ran to hug you, Siwon at his heels. Kagin and Yesung are the next ones in hug you and Shindong hits your head before hugging you. Leeteuk walked to you and you felt nervous because the last time you spoke, he was mad at you but he erased any fear when he hugged you, tightly and lovingly. You felt the tears in your eyes, because you felt like coming back home, like if your father had forgiven you and you know that Leeteuk is the closest to a father that you have. Sungmin mumbles a lot and complains and pretends he didn't miss you at all but then he's hugging you so tightly that you can barely breath. Heechul stared at you for minutes and only nodded cooly, not smiling but you know that it could have been a lot worse than that.

The party was small, family, friends and some co workers were there, the salon was beautifully decorated and he could see Heechul's hand in every place. People talked, every one of your friends said something cute and embarassing, Ryeowook tried to make you say something too but you refused, you said that you barely knew how they were as a couple and you didn't know what to say. The truth is, you were afraid of embarass yourself in there crying like a little girl. Later, the dance floor was emptied and the newlyweds were in the dance floor, sharing their first dance, the song was beautiful, 'You and Me' by Lighthouse and they looked perfect together. Heechul claimed him for the next dance and Sungmin moved towards Kyuhyun, smiling at him gently and warmly. You saw how everyone danced with them and you drank cup after cup of champagne, not knowing what to do.

You watch him dance with his-now-husband again and you can see as clearly as day that he is  _happy_ , he looks so freaking happy in his arms that you can't stop yourself to think that he used to be yours, he used to smile for you like that. And you die a little because you know that you would give anything to be that man that now has him. Eunhyuk saw you a little after and you almost panicked when he came your way, your heart acelerated and your hands started to sweat.

_"Would you dance with me?"_ he said and extended his hand. You couldn't say no. When your hands touched, a little spark of electricity hit you but you ignored it, closing one arm around his waist and holding his one with yours softly, moving him to the rhythm  _"Are you okay?"_ he asked you gently and you suddenly knew that he had noticed everything, he knew what you felt in that moment and you wanted to die but you just lowered your head, unable to meet his eyes. 

_"You know"_ you whispered and he nodded, his face serious  _"It's okay... I'll be fine"_ you said and it was so obviously a lie that he lifted his eyebrows  _"You don't have to worry about it, just... I'm glad that you are happy. I really am"_ your voice broke at the end, tears prickling in your eyes, your chest heaving. 

_"Don't cry"_ he said so softly and sad that you thought that he would cry in that very same moment and you couldn't let that happen, not when this was suppose to be the happiest day of his life. So you inhaled deeply, controling your feelings and you lifted your head, meeting his eyes and smiling.

_"I won't. The only one that is allow to cry today is you and I think you already did it in the speech part"_ he laughed gently, smiling even when his eyes were sad but that was something.

_"I want you to be happy, Donghae"_ he whispered and you tried your best to keep a straight face.

_"I will be. For you, I will, I promise"_  you said lowly and he nodded, still sad. Kyuhyun is waiting for him, you saw him with the corner of your eye and you know that this is the last moment you will have him like this so you needed to say everything now  _"I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you deserved. I love you, Hyukjae, and I think I'll always be in love with you but I will move on, I will continue with my life and maybe, someday, we will meet again and we'll start over as friends. Be happy, Hyukkie"_ you said finally and you saw tears running dow his face. He smiles at you with gratitude and warmness, his eyes shining gently for you and then he leaned and kissed the corner of your mouth. It's a goodbye kiss, the end of what you had and he left your arms, moving toward his husband and his new life.

And then he was gone. He was still there, a few steps away from you but it was painfully obvious that he was away now. You can't stop yourself from crying anymore, it was breaking you and when you feel arms around you, you turned surprised and you felt happy when you saw Leeteuk, his smile warm and understading. He dragged you away and hugged you tightly while you cried and screamed and sobbed, letting out all the pain you were feeling in that moment, Eunhyuk was gone, he wasn't yours anymore and it was killing you, you didn't know how you were going to be able to keep leaving, you left him once and almost die, now you had to let go of him again and your life was going with him. 

Leeteunk soothed you gently, you felt Sungmin's hands in your hair, stroking it warmly. Siwon sits beside you, a hand in your shoulder and Ryeowook kneeled at your feet, supporting his face in your knees. Shindong is silent but you can feel him in the room and Kagin had your hand in his. When Heechul entered the room and looked at you, he saw your red eyes and your pitiful appereance. And then, he opened his arms and you felt blessed again, runing toward him and he hugged you and conforted you, letting you cry in his shoulder until you had no more tears.

You were in a plane back to China two days later. Your friends all have promised to visit you soon, Heechul nagged you all the time but you felt happy and you sat in your chair and watched outside the window and smiled to yourself. You know the pain won't go away because Eunhyuk is the love in your life but you feel peaceful now because he's in good hands and now, you are finally able to move on, you are able to keep going with your life, forgiving yourself and finding your place in the world. Someday, you'll be back and you'll see him again, and he will be your friend then. 

Donghae smiled.

_"Goodbye... Eunhyuk... my love"_  

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been published on Asiafanfics first with my same username and it has a prequel now!


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